Only words?

"There are some words that come from so deep inside you that they stay within you forever, haunting you like a beautiful memory..."

As a former writer of poetry I can assure you this is truth. Regardless of whether I scribbled a few lines on a scrap piece of paper 5 years ago, some of those words flowed from so deep inside that I can never shake them. I am revisited by them every now and again, and sometimes those words float through my head like a melody, reminding me of my exact surroundings and life at the time that I wrote them.

Those words can be like a time machine....

It's quite extraordinary actually. Words, pieces of music, poetry or phrases have the ability to transport you. Some carry deep meaning because you have lived them, or you have given life to them. 

My poetry and writing used to be almost a form of therapy. I was never good at keeping diaries, but I could write poems and sonnets and songs. And for me it was much easier because I could play a character. I could be the heroine of my story or the damsel in distress. I could weave beautiful words or tragic tales and I didn't have to be me. 

This writing also coincided with my love of reading. Some nights I stayed up all night reading, racing through pages to finish a book, living and walking and breathing the lives of those characters. But its exhausting really to be yourself and a host of characters too. 

Since then I've matured and realized that it was time to take off the mask and stop pretending. But those words still have stayed with me. 

Words are powerful in that way. They tend to flow out of your heart and determine the path you will walk down. 

Which was precisely why I decided to stop masquerading. 

But what I find interesting about words is their creative ability. The right words formed in the right manner at the right time will paint an image inside of you that is ironically unspeakable beautiful. And wrong words in the wrong manner at the wrong time have the ability to crush and kill the spirit of a person. 

Words stay with you forever. And some scars are so deep they cannot be seen. But every painful second they are felt. 

Words become a part of you. The images that you let words paint inside of you will determine how you see yourself and in a broader view they will choose your destiny in this life. Words become apart of you. 

Words frequently spoken, much like poems frequently recited, trickle down deep into you until they become embedded in the very fiber of your being. And then they begin to illuminate themselves outward and become what you speak and say to others. They set the boundaries of your world and determine your limitations. 

What you think you can accomplish you will try. But if the words "can't, not, won't, shouldn't, and fail" frequent your mind, then you process these as truth and believe them. Your boundaries for what you can and can't accomplish have been set and until you remove these negatives, your boundaries will stay limited. 

When I think about words and how spoken words speak to you and become a part of you, painting your world, I am reminded of meditation. 

In English the word meditation often brings to mind the type of meditation frequently witnessed in Eastern religion. This kind of meditation requires outside silence and the meditation takes place solely in your mind. The idea is to empty yourself and mentally focus. 

But the Hebrew word for meditation is one that sparks great interest in me. It is hagah and it means to reflect, to moan, to mutter, to ponder, to make a quiet sound such as sighing; to meditate or contemplate something as one repeats the words. In Hebrew thought, to meditate on the Scriptures is to repeat them in a soft, droning sound, while utterly abandoning outside distractions. 

Hebrew meaning of meditation

This gave birth to a type of Jewish prayer called "davening" which is reciting texts, praying intense prayers, or getting lost in communion with God while bowing or rocking back and forth. 

What amazes me is that the person who prayers quietly reflects on a text or phrase and as they ponder they recite it. I'm not talking about mindless chanting which requires no thought. I'm talking about letting the words wash over you until you begin to be saturated and revelation crashes down. These words become so intense and powerful that they begin to drive a person to movement (hence the rocking back and forth). 

This type of meditation is what truly stakes the boundaries in our life. Let the words from the lips of Jesus Christ set the boundaries in your life. Let them drive you to action as you begin to "stretch out the curtain of your dwellings." 

In Isaiah 54 something which seems quite like insanity occurs. God begins to speak to childless women (which was considered shameful and the women were seen as cursed in those times) and instructs them to sing. 

"Break forth into singing and cry aloud! You who have not labored with child! For more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married woman," says the Lord. 

He goes on to tell them to "enlarge the place of your tent and stretch out the curtains of your dwellings; do not spare; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes, for you shall expand to the right and to the left , and your descendants will inherit the nations, and make the desolate cities inhabited." 

as you can see from the writing, I've spent some time here

You see, God is speaking and telling these women to saturate themselves with the Words that He speaks...to BREAK FORTH INTO SINGING when they wanted to mourn the fact that they were childless. 

When they thought that there houses should be diminished, because they had no children, He instructs them to expand. Grow your dwelling areas, increase your living space, strengthen your walls and lengthen them! Your descendants will become multitudes! Prepare for it! 

He uses words to paint an image. This image of multitudes of descendants drives these women to increase their dwellings, build additions, and prepare for children. 

When God spoke similar words to Abraham the nation of Israel was born. 

And what a miracle that it did not come from some young couple, well able and prepared for children. It came from a hundred year old man and his 90 year old wife who did not have children before, who were not able. 

So are you letting limiting words cause you to spare? Does it seem impossible? Then yes, its probably exactly what you are called to do. God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called. 

An even greater miracle comes when we empty ourselves of our own strength and capacity and do those things which only God can accomplish through our acts of obedience to His words. 

Think on the words you want to stay with you. Think on the ones that will stretch your boundaries, not shrink them. Think on the words that will cause you to spare not. Let them wash over you, let them paint a new image, let them drive you to action and enlarge the place of your territory. 

Only words? Think again. 

The winds of change...

A 'No' uttered from the deepest
conviction is better than a 'Yes'
merely uttered to please,
or worse, to avoid trouble. 

I just spent a few days working out a new menu to put up on the cupcakesforcambodia.org site. It was supposed to be a Valentine's/Spring menu, but since I procrastinated St. Valentine's Day slipped through the cracks...I still have some heart shaped cookies in the fridge though (un-iced of course because as I stated I am awful at procrastination).

The point is, there comes a time when change is necessary.

You hear a lot about change...quotes, speeches, how it is necessary, how you must accept it. How people won't except it, how they don't like change. How change is good, how change can be bad, how you create it, how you can BE the change. Quite frankly, it is tossed around so much we have a tendency to gloss over it and treat it as the overused word and concept that it is.

But when I think about how extraordinary and profound change is....it really is quite something.

And I can feel change....

I feel the winds of change blowing and moving right now. In my life and all around me.

inspired by the song "Colors of the Wind" in Pocahontas...I have always loved it because she looks as if she truly feels the wind and the change her people were about to experience

I don't mean in some overarching manor, because there are some large changes taking place. I mean I can feel a quiet change, an under-tide slowly rearranging, gently whispering and moving. The type of change that slowly manifests and tenderly sneaks up on you.

So many people get caught up in change. They get stuck in awful cliches of change, spouting slogans and touting it proudly. The change many people experience is merely themselves being swept away with the masses, conforming to and accepting the change fed and dictated to them by some great unknown source. Some source that propagates change but remains nameless and faceless. This change is the useless ineffectual change that requires no skill and an absence of mind to be apart of. I like to pass on this change.

I get excited when change happens quietly within you. I think quality change is when you set the foundation and parameters for it. When you begin a change by directing it and you start within yourself. It needn't be announced to the world and it truly requires time, focus and skill to achieve. This is the the type of change that has led to world revolutions. It is driven by conviction, paid for in blood, and believed in the heart.

Cautious, careful people, always casting 
about to preserve their 
reputations...can never effect a reform. 

Great leaders have made an eternal impact with this change. And while it is their rich words often misquoted by those who simply jumped on the band wagon without really understanding, that doesn't matter. What really matters is the conviction they felt in their heart which lead to positive forward action.

There is nothing like returning to a place
that remains unchanged to find the ways in
which you yourself have altered. 

And of course there is opposition. Sometimes no one follows, no one quotes you and greatness appears to allude you. But if you really know in your inner man that you are acting out true conviction, that you are igniting a revolution, then the actions of every other man matter not. Because in the end truth is abstract and concrete. It is not democratic, it does not need a majority vote to pass for truth. It can be hated by everyone but is remains unstained; it remains truth.

When I think of this kind of revolutionary truth I think of men like Martin Luther King, Jr., Nelson Mandela, Mahatmas Gandhi and women like Susan B. Anthony and Joan of Arc.

They had convictions. They sparked revolution based on these convictions...they did not merely thrive off their frustrations or the pressures of others but really knew that they carried a truth within them that they must act upon.

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. 

Regardless of imprisonment, beatings, burning, lies and gossip, murder, assassination, slander, and torture, whether it was of the mind or body, they remained steadfast and faithful. This was because they had a hope to anchor their soul. They had a dream they wished to carry into this realm of reality.

In an age where authentic truth and conviction are rare to say the least, I admire these qualities in the forefathers of the fight for justice and truth. I find that if they were capable of inciting change in entire nations and revolutions across this entire world, that I too can become the initiator for change by living out truth also.

My name need not be recorded, my actions may not ever be written in books or read by generations in years to come. But greatness isn't defined by how widespread one's actions are or how famous they become. True greatness is how successful you were at living the truth and illuminating it for others by your actions in this life.

One life is all we have
and we live it as we believe in living it.
But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, t
hat is a fate more terrible than dying. 

The truth that I seek to live out is one in which I carry serious conviction. I strive to base my entire life upon it. It is an ancient truth which transcends time, but one which is ever relevant.

And that Truth is the Word of God.

Be blessed :)