9 days

9 days, 18 hours, 1 minute and 48 seconds.

I have a countdown on my phone for the exact time my flight departs Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. After 22 hours of travel I will land in Phnom Penh Cambodia.

I'm just a little bit excited. Sometimes I feel like a balloon about to pop and anyone who has tried to generate casual conversation with me the past few days has only heard me open up my mouth to gush about the wonders of Cambodia, how much I love the kids, how long I will be there...



I'm doing it again aren't I?

But after 10 long months of waiting I'm finally going back! YIPPEE!

Regardless of how much I may talk about it, I feel like words just can't describe the multitude of feelings that come rushing in when I think about the trip. Excitement, wonder, awe, impatience to get there. I feel a bit nervous too. I'll be meeting many of the kids again, but this time some of them I sponsor, some I pray for every night, some I know from the dozen of pictures on facebook.

I think about the staff and caregivers in the children's homes, what sacrifices they have made, the daily exercises in patience, love and being a parent figure to 20 or 30 children. I'm amazed by the unconditional love they show and have for the orphaned, abandoned, hungry and poor.

I think about the kind of lives these kids might have led, what those precious little eyes have seen that they shouldn't have, what they have felt and experienced that someone that young should not have.

You would never be able to tell that any one of them has ever faced a problem though. Joy bubbles over in their laughter and smiles, huge grins because they love getting their picture taken, they love running up to visitors and singing and dancing for them.

And suddenly your heart is overwhelmed with the self less love they demonstrate to you that I just want to give them everything. I want to demonstrate the love Jesus has for them. I want to give them gifts, give them words of encouragement, communicate just how precious, how unique they are and let their wide eyes see just how big they can dream, just how bright their future is. Brighter than stars, brighter than the sun blazing hot on a Cambodian summer day. Everything they have overcome at their young age, and they still beam a smile. That's hope. New hope. A generation in Cambodia is rising, one that will walk away from the dark night of the past and into the dazzling light of a promising future.

Those words don't even begin to describe the joy the smiling faces of those kids.

Of course, I run into people that don't understand. When I say I'm going to Cambodia they look at me as if I had a third eye. I just smile and try to explain and I accept the fact that some people will never understand. They are family, friends, well meaning people who will unintentionally try to put as much fear in me as possible with questions about the food, water, safety and traveling. Just smile and nod.

I myself can't give any definitive answer as to why Southeast Asia...why not Africa, Nepal, the Fiji islands, Europe where I had always wanted to travel. Why not here in the US? But when a love overtakes your heart, you don't just shrug it off. You learn to love back, love the people and their culture, their ways and habits and think of them as family.

I'm discovering that life is so much more meaningful when you live with an open heart, wherever you are. I am so thankful that so many have opened their heart and trusted me, and I intend to pay that forward to others.