I Love Cambodia

I could make excuses about jet lag, or being awake at 3 AM, or having to get used to Western food again (surprisingly) for why this post is so late.

But lets be honest...those would just be excuses and while all those things did happen, I just kept putting writing about my trip to Cambodia off. And dreaming that I was still there.

The faces and feelings and phrases that swirl around in your head don't begin to describe or even make sense of the events of a trip.

Marina, who was kind
enough to braid my hair
on a hot Cambodian day

Words can't really describe the way your heart is touched and life is changed. They merely scratch the surface. People ask if I'm glad to be home and its a tough question to answer. I'm glad to see my family and friends; its always nice to know that you have been missed very much and that you must be making some what of an impact that people realize you are gone. But on the other hand, I think back to smiling faces of children who you form a bond with so quickly you felt as if you had always been sitting on the step with them, as if you were a close relative who held them as a baby, watched them grow, and saw all the promise and potential hidden inside of them.

While I've only been away from home twice, I will say that coming home is (and I think always will be) bittersweet. It is as if your heart is torn in two...we visited 7 children's homes and while at the end of the day you are somewhat relieved to be heading back to your hotel to eat, rest and sleep in preparation for the next day, you lie in bed thinking of what impact you made, what lives you changed...and as I've discovered all the lives that have impacted and changed you.

My second or third day we visited the home where most of my sponsor kids and some sponsor kids that I support in prayers and encouragement live. I carried around a precious little 4 year old for several hours while we were there, not thinking about anything else but how long I had longed to be there and hold this child who for various reasons could not be held by her own mother. She is my first sponsor daughter, Dim, and has been at the children's home for a little under a year.

Friends and fellowship 

As we sat on the floor at some point in the day, one girl who was probably 7 or 8 looked up at me, smiled and asked if I was Dim's mother. I smiled, nodded and thought in my mind what would be the right way to answer. Was it presumptuous if I said yes? She did have a mother somewhere, who unfortunately could not make enough money to support her. She also had a house-mother who takes care of 30+ other children as well as her own. She was there every morning to watch over her, dress her, brush her hair. I can't be there everyday to do those things, but I think of her often, pray for her daily...I guess you can say she has been blessed with many mothers who all play a vital role in drawing out her potential and watching her grow in Christ.

Dim, taking a picture of herself with my phone

She's completely changed since the last time I saw her. When I visited Cambodia last September she was very reserved, shy, quiet. I later found at that she had only been dropped off at the home 2 weeks prior to our visit. But this time when our van pulled up I saw her and my sponsor son Joseph start to come near the van from farther away, looking to see if I was there (our van was about 15 minutes later getting there than the other vans). As we drew closer their walk turned into a run and I don't think I have had a happier moment in my life.

These kids are so full of live, love, joy. They call you "momma" or "sister", grab your arm, hold your hand, hug you. It doesn't matter that you don't speak Khmer or some of them don't speak English. Non-verbal communication dominates and you just look at each other and smile. It wasn't easy to finally have to say good-bye that day to these children who were in my prayers and mind. But I have hope that I will see them again soon, and this is just the beginning of many trips to walk among nations and people.

Visiting a home
and getting to see this boy
that I pray for daily

I am so grateful to the amazing brothers and sisters in Cambodia. They took time away from their families and lives to travel with us and translate for us. They were patient with our large team and with each one of us individually, answering questions, taking the time to make conversation and taking care of details for our comfort and convenience.

I'm thankful for my friends in the States who have dedicated their lives to the nations. They take time away from their families to spend 20+ hours on airplaines, in airports, on dirt roads and in straw huts. They are patient, loving, kind...always generous and I am so thankful that I was invited. Their humility amazes me, and there are many times where I stop, thinking how surreal a situation is and wondering why in the billions of people on earth I was chosen to be blessed with the opportunities I have received.

Makara 

My heart can't express enough the godly love I feel for these dear friends, how grateful I am, how in awe of them I am. The diversity and unity, the laughing and bonding, the rejoicing together and sharing memories, memories that are engrained within me...I make it my aim to show that same love, exhibit that same humility, give of myself as generously to all I meet and in every opportunity giving thanks.

To the people of America and Cambodia: I love you and am eternally grateful.