Never stop sowing seed.

"Never stop sowing seed." My dad said these words with great simplicity in a poignant way.

We were driving home from our family Christmas party where close to 200 of my dad's relatives gathered to share a meal and an afternoon celebrating Christmas.

We got in the car afterwards and I could he was thinking about something. But he wouldn't say what.

The car slowed and we pulled into the cemetery and then it slowed again as my eyes lifted to a familiar sight. My grandmothers heart shaped headstone stood out quite clearly to me and I thought.

I thought about this woman who I had never met and never known but who my heart filled with love for as tears formed in my eyes. I had heard many times from my dad about how magical Christmas was growing up for him and how special it was and I knew he missed his mother greatly.

I too missed this woman who I had heard so much about. Who's love flowed down through the hearts of her 19 children. This woman who was constantly giving of everything she had. No, I had never met my grandmother but I know in my heart I aspire to be like her.

And then we stopped in front of a grave much fresher. Fresh pain comes too as we have had much loss this year in our family. We had a much larger turn out at the family party this year but there was a noticeably somber atmosphere.

This year has been a year of great growth for me. It wasn't easy or happy all the time. I used to be a very closed off person...quiet, stoic, seemingly ignorant to emotions.

But all this has changed. My heart has is open. It is feeling. I find myself confronted with tears at things that, in the past, I would have fought against responding too. I tear up when I think about the children in Cambodia who have nothing. I was greatly moved when I read an article my cousin wrote about their journey through adoption. I find that my heart has become tender to these things.

When John the Baptist was beheaded, Jesus went of to be alone. But the crowds still followed. Instead of turning them away to grieve in selfish solitude, Jesus had compassion; true charity and love and he healed their sick.

I've learned this year the importance of opening up your heart. It is not always pleasant to make yourself vulnerable, but where pain abounds, love abounds so much more.

You cannot truly give without love. I know my grandmother loved and sowed seeds of love. I know my Aunt Dot loved. And while bodies may die, those seeds never do. Like a gentle wind blows the seeds of a dandelion to various places, our seeds of love travel far beyond where we could imagine and perpetuate throughout time.

I am keenly aware now of the changes that have taken place in me and I rejoice. I am thankful for the lessons and principles learned. I am grateful for a heart full of love, open, honest. I pray for a heart like those great women in my family. A heart ready to constantly give and sow. And I will remember those words "never stop sowing." Because each seed will go out and grow. It will touch others hearts. Perhaps it will open other hearts up also. And while it is true that tender hearts feel pain, it is necessary to have a tender heart before love can flow from it. And love, like blood that is pumped through the veins, carries a healing power. It carries hope and plants seeds.

So never stop loving; never stop sowing and always keep your heart open.